September 9, 2013

Boy, did I get some bad news today!  

Went to the doctor prepared to hear about the biopsies they did last week.  Well, at least I thought I was prepared.  He came in and said, "First, the bad news".   Then he dropped a bombshell.  The small, blueberry size tumor in my left lung is LUNG CANCER!   Then he proceeded to tell me that I have to have yet another biopsy (actually 3 at once hopefully).  This will be to biopsy the lymph node in my left collarbone area, the tumor on my left hip and the tumor on my T12 spine.

I am getting radiation on that tumor on my T12 spine but they need to biopsy it anyway.

Now, when they find out what kind of cancer is in all these places they will be able to finally decide our exact course of treatment.

If any of the other sites is Lung Cancer then the prognosis is not really too good.  It could be as little time as 12 months.  However, that is the worst case scenario.

If none of the other sites is Lung Cancer then they can use the CyberKnife (pinpoint radiation) to get rid of the tumor or do surgery to cut it out.  Of course I would prefer CyberKnife instead of surgery.

But we can't do anything until I have these other biopsies.

The Interventional Radiology Department (IR) has scheduled me for 10:30 am tomorrow.  But they are working me in so don't know exactly how long it will take to do the procedure because they don't know if they will do all three places or just the left hip and right lymph nodes by the collarbone.

That was quite a blow when he said 12 months.   Then he said please don't worry about it too much until we actually know.   Right!   I will probably think of nothing else.

So again our future is up in the air.  It's like I told the doctor I can handle anything as long as I know what I am facing and what the course of action/treatment is.  Yes, I teared up and had a bit of trouble talking right after he dropped that bombshell.  Who wouldn't?   But he very quietly reached behind him and got two paper towels from the dispenser and handed them to me.  He just kept talking like nothing was wrong.  I am glad that he did that.  If he had tried to pet or coddle me I would have just lost it completely.  After a few tears (and no great big cry) I got in control again and finished asking my questions.

I had asked him for something to help me sleep because sometimes I just can't sleep.  He forgot to write the prescription so he came out to the scheduling desk where I was and wrote it.  I told him I don't think I like him very much any more and laughed.

Then I told him that he had an assistant looking over his shoulder.  Then I rephrased that and told him that he was the assistant, that the Lord is in on all of this, too.

One thing the doctor did tell me is that having the problem with my collar bone may just save my life.  He said we probably would never have even looked for the tumor in my lungs since I don't smoke and don't live an that type of environment.  So we might not have known about it until it was too late.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform!  Isn't God great?  I am trusting Him that His Will be done.

Now I have to get off here and contact my brother, Steve, who lives in Ecuador.  He is going to help me work on our website for our wooden toys and games.  If you want to check it out it is:
www.travelingtoymaker.com  It is under construction but it works but is not pretty now.    If you check it out, let me know what you think.  I am trying to change the whole layout but I need constructive feedback.

Well, that's it for this time.  May or may not post tomorrow but will definitely post when I find out something else.

Love to all.  Hug your kids and spouse (if you have them).  If not, hug yourself.  Love life and live it to the fullest.  You certainly do not know what tomorrow will bring.

Jean