Until I saw Dr. Spencer. But then he gave me the dreaded diagnosis.
My first appointment with the oncologist is August 12 at 10:15 am at the University of Tennessee Cancer Center with Dr. David Aljadir. I am looking forward to getting started on this journey (although it is one I never thought I would have to take.
This Journal Blog is for me. But I want to share it with anyone who cares to read it. I don't know where it will go or what I will post. I plan to post any appointments and the complete results so my family and friends (and anyone else who wants to read it) can check here instead of my having to call them each individually.
I wrote this following part a few days ago before I started this blog:
July 25, 2013 – CT scan this morning. Also had a MRI scheduled but due to receiving the authorization for wrong procedure the MRI was not done. While they were working on getting the proper authorization the CT was read by the radiologist. According to the lady who was working with me on getting MRI set for proper test, “The radiologist read the CT. He said you do not need the MRI but probably need a PET scan. He called Dr. Spencer’s office who reached him in surgery. Dr. Spencer said to schedule the PET scan.” She told me I would hear from Dr. Spencer’s office. Within an hour or so I received a call saying the PET scan is scheduled for Monday July 29. I have follow up appointment with Dr. Spencer on August 6 to get the results.
The only one I have ever known that had PET scans was Wayne DeCamp to check to see if his cancer had returned. I checked the internet and it says PET scans are to check on where cancer is in the body and to see if it has spread. I am scared because I don’t know what is going to happen but I am trusting that the Lord’s will be done. One thing I told Keith is that if it is cancer I am glad Mom is not around because she would have worried herself sick if I do have cancer. Sent email to a couple of friends at church. Told Steve I am having the test done when we were talking over Skype yesterday because he asked what was going on with the tests I was having.
I am not going to tell anyone else until I get the results of the PET scan. It is going to a long few days until August 6. Wish I could see him a lot quicker but will just have to wait.
August 9, 2013 – 5:45 am – Well, I got the results of the PET scan at 5:00 pm on 8/6/13. It is cancer! And of course, in true Jean fashion it’s not just in one place. I have been told I go overboard. Well, guess this is another time of that. There is a lesion on the collar bone or affecting it or something (not really clear on that one), a spot in the left lung, a spot on my spine and one or two spots in the pelvis, as well as lymph nodes at the collar bone.
The past 2 days have been very emotional and scary and depressing and, and, and……. You name it, I have gone through a full range of emotions from almost uncontrollable crying to actually being happy and having a few laughs. Some of the highest and lowest moments:
1. Initial thought was I am glad my mother is NOT HERE to have to worry about me.
2. Trusting in the Lord that His will be done. (that’s going to be a hard one to continue with but I want to serve Him and be a good Christian witness through this)
3. Although I love the Lord and plan to go to heaven some day, I’m not ready to go yet, Lord!
4. I can shave my head! I never have liked to have to work with my hair and wear it short anyway. (it’s good for a laugh right now, anyway).
5. Scared that I may not live.
6. Wanting to go home to see my family.
7. I am not in control of things. I’m not used to that. I am having to wait for others to make appointments, etc.
8. I WANT MY MOMMY!
Yes, I started this list with my mom and finished it with her. I have not really grieved for her since she died in May, mostly because I know she is so much better off in Heaven than she was here on earth. I am very glad she is not here to have to worry about this but I guess you never outgrow wanting your mom when you are ill. It just hit me so hard yesterday that she wasn’t there to tell me what to do.
Now, I start my blog in earnest. Some may not like what I post but I don't care. I am going to post my true feelings (whatever they are, good or bad) because I will need this as an outlet. I want and need your prayers and support.
Anyone can call me at anytime.
Post your comments to me on this site. Help me (and my husband Keith) get through this. We need you.
My first appointment is Monday. Let's get started on JeansJourneyThroughCancer!