Wednesday, August 14, 2013

August 14, 2013

Have tried to keep busy today so don't have to think about it being 2 more full days until I have my biopsy.  We worked in the trailer on toy and game patterns from about 8:00 am until 5:00 pm with about 1 1/2 hour off for lunch and to do a project in the house.

But I got mad at Keith (really for no reason).  Here's how it went:

Yesterday he used his phone and called the vet about our dog, Buster, who is a nervous wreck when it rains (not even a storm, just rain).  He can hear so much better since he got his new hearing aids he doesn't need me (and there is the rub, at least today it was).  He made the appointment using his phone, he took the dog and didn't need me to go so I could hear, and he came back and told me what was going on.

Today I was working on this project in the house and he made "suggestions" (and they were good) about what I was doing.  I snapped at him.

WHY?   Well, I felt useless, like he didn't need me any more and it wouldn't matter whether I beat the cancer or not because he will be ok. Now, before someone starts to tell me that that's what I should hope for, of course, I know that.  LOL    That is what I want for him if the worst thing happens with me.  But, if I get better he still won't "need me" as much as before. 

It doesn't make sense.   Yes, I know that!!!!!!!  Then I told him why I snapped at him.  That confused him.  But we talked it out and I explained to him how I was feeling and it's all over now.

But I am so tired tonight.

Oh, but I might have (and it's only a slim possibility) figured out the spot on my left hip.  I forgot to tell the doctor about a surgery that was done when I was 18 (just graduated high school).  They took a piece of my hip bone out and inserted it into my left knee.  I am anxious to tell them about it the next time I see any of them (probably on Friday at my biopsy).  Don't know if it will help but sure would take a load off my mind if that would explain it.

That's it for tonight.  Love to all.

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